Changing Your Personality

I am not a fan of “personality tests.” They are designed to reveal your preferences and predict how you will react in different situations.

The results may be able to predict your behavior or choices in a lot of situations but who is trying to predict your behavior, and why do they want to know what choices you are going to make?

Personality tests are not really helpful because you get labeled as something which may or may not even be close to who you are, but that is what the experts say, so it must be true.

The experts also believe once your personality is formed, it does not change. But the experts have always believed people don’t change, and that has prevented any progress at finding ways to help them change.

Their beliefs about personality ignore some of the amazing facts about being human. Our choices are not unchangeable. Our brain is built for change and each of us has a huge number of different options for how we are going to respond in a situation, and we can choose the ones we think are the best for that situation.

A different understanding of personality is necessary!

Our personality should be understood as “the set of skills, knowledge, and experience we use for managing a specific situation.”

In a way, that is close to what the personality tests are measuring but the tests only focus on the results. When you encounter x, you will do y, for instance.

They completely fail to take into consideration that your choice could be radically different if you enhanced either your skill, or your knowledge, or both.

Let me share the results of a huge study that proves having skills is more important than anything a personality test can tell you.

Imagine yourself driving down a busy freeway. You are surrounded by thousands of other drivers and all of the personality types. Again, so what?

All of them, regardless of their “personality types” are driving and they are driving successfully. Two hundred million Americans drive THREE TRILLION miles each year with not very many accidents. Those statistics can teach us something extremely important.

They clearly show that a personality type has nothing to do with our ability to learn a very complicated skill that requires us to rapidly process a lot of information and perform complex calculations and make choices in a high-risk environment.

If you look at the skills you do well, such as language, driving, dressing, your job or profession, you received accurate training and practiced doing the skill.

This is about a lot more than driving, and a lot better than believing you cannot change how you manage your encounters.

It is the versions of our skills or incomplete knowledge that are responsible for creating nearly all our problems and negative emotions, and both of those are the results of not having the right skills to process the information accurately.

Looking at the errors can tell us which specific skills need to be improved or corrected. From this standpoint, a radically different approach to the concept of personality would give us a process for empowering, instead of dis-empowering, an individual.

This means for every kind of situation we have a specific personality, a specific combination of knowledge and skills that we will use.

We can see then that we have numerous personalities. Each has very specific information and requires unique skills for processing it. We have one for every significantly different kind of situation we encounter. We choose the personality depending on the situation.

The quality of the specific skills we use depends heavily on the quality of our foundation skills, relationships, making choices, and managing our emotions.

Since Life Is All About Skills is a course about changing our future, it needs to offer a way to improve our skills because our skills create the results we have come to expect. Improving our skills will improve our results. The better the results, the better we will feel about ourselves and our abilities.

Our time and energy would be better utilized in working to understand the thinking processes going on and how we can be empowered to take control of those processes to improve our skills.

There are even larger studies available which support the concept that learning to do skills well is the key to creating good results, fewer problems, and fewer negative emotions.

Those statistics are true for one simple reason. We were taught how to do the skill of driving correctly. So, when you get in your car, you switch to your correctly-trained driver personality and away you go.

That is not how we learned our skills for relationships or making choices, and that is why they cause at least 95% of our problems.

© 2017 Douglas McKee


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