Why you should read this. About 4 minutes
Take a serious look at your life and the lives of those around you. The vast majority of us are struggling. Our lives have way too much anxiety, angst, and anger. As I said on the home page, ”Our relationships don’t last, our family skills have almost vanished, and our emotions are out of control.”
How are we going to turn that around? If not for us, for our children? We have seen the quality of our lives steadily decline for years. Eventually it will fall apart unless we do something.
I believe we can change it all by learning how to make better choices. By having a frank and open discussion about what is truly important to us as an individual, and what we really need to be content, we can make an informed choice about how we should use our energy and resources.
We must know how to make the choices that can fulfill our lives. What can do that? What is necessary? What are our most important needs?
Most people confuse needs and wants because they are used as synonyms, but their meanings are actually very different. Needs are necessary for growth, development and maintenance. Humans all have the same needs: food, shelter and nurturing, or Love. To define something as a need is to recognize its essential nature. Thankfully, food and shelter are a lot easier for us than for many people in other places.
Why have we not learned how to meet our needs? As children, we depended on others to help us meet our needs. Since they were the source of food and shelter, it is easy to see how we would conclude they were also the source of love.
Since others were the source for these things, and they did not teach us otherwise, what we learned was that meeting our needs depends on outside sources. If we do not understand the real nature of needs, we will believe we must depend on an external source or another human being to meet them for us.
Most importantly, we must understand that we can meet our needs only by our own actions because our needs are action programs, not thinking programs.
Someone may bring us food, but we must eat. We may be offered shelter, but we must make the decision to come in out of the rain. If our needs are not being met, we are the only one who can act to meet them.
Our need for Love operates in the same way. In order to meet our need for love, we must love. Why? Because every choice creates a mirror of what we, deep in our hearts, believe our life is, or will be. When we love, the mirror reflects a loving being. And when we nurture, we are nurtured.
The importance of giving is stated in nearly all belief systems, and now you can see why. What we give reflects and determines who we believe we are.
We can also see that a primary reason to learn how to make better choices is so we can meet our needs. The concept of choice is simple. Choice is the process we use to decide what to think, say, or do, next. That’s the easy part. The challenge is that 99+% of our day is managed by our subconscious habits, most of which we learned from our environmental genome.
If you don’t know how to manage or change those habits, you will continue to make the same choices and remain a slave to the yesterdays of your conditioned reactions. If you cannot learn to change your habits, you will never be free to have the kind of life you once dreamed you would have.
In an environment that was overly domineering and controlling, a child was not allowed to make their own decisions. When they grew up, some of them hold their parents, or someone else, responsible for everything that is wrong with their life because their habits put them in a position of always being controlled by someone else.
As an adult, we know we have to make our own decisions, but if we have no experience in decision making because our habit is to allow someone else to make our decisions for us, how can we?
In order to make better choices, you need to establish a different relationship with your knowledge, experiences, and emotions. The kind of relationship you can develop will separate you, the living breathing individual, from the information you have accumulated. This empowers you to be able to consciously choose which information you use and choose how you use it.
As The Thinker, you have the authority to make all the choices in your life. You have the authority to repair or get rid of the habits that do not serve you, or that you should have left behind in childhood, or the ones you should not have picked up along the way.
Habits can be easily cast as Angels or Demons, depending on one’s perspective and how a particular situation is going at the moment. On one hand, we created our successful habits. On the other hand, we created our unsuccessful habits as well.
It’s the same process either way. Our brain is not concerned with the functionality or dysfunctionality of the habit it creates, it is just busy creating thought habits out of information you use frequently.
Since 99 percent of our day is subconsciously managed automatic habits, we don’t have a lot of experience making conscious choices.
The article, Learning Cycles, shows how we learned, but more importantly, how we can use the same processes to transform our lives by learning new skills or updating the ones we have.
The Course can teach you how.
© 2017 Douglas McKee